These techniques, while very important, are also really, really easy.
Conversation Tip #1: Ask Questions, Lots of Questions, But Make Them Interesting.
Asking questions is probably the most important of all conversation skills. It’s your secret weapon. People have an inbuilt urge to answer questions. But ask questions that can’t be answered with yes/no/maybe responses. For example: “Are you taking a vacation this year?” Invites just “Yes.” So if that’s how they answer, you need to follow with “Where are you going?” and when they reveal that, “Do you like it there, or is it the first time you’ve been?”
Your partner will enjoy this type of question, because it is personal to them, and because you are asking their opinion. People love to give their opinion.
It’s possible to really shift topics like this up a gear by playing “what if”. For example, you could easily develop a theme like this one into a full-fledged conversation topic like this: “I often like to ask, if you could go absolutely anywhere in the world, where would you choose, and why?”
If they prove imaginative, you can really get going by telling them they have a time machine, and can visit nay time in the past or future, but it must be before or after they have lived. You’ll be surprised at some to the answers you’ll get. And an added plus is that you’ll get to know quite a lot about the other person…which is a sure sign you’ve had a great conversation with them.
Conversation Tip #2: Listen And Lead: Get Them To Do the Talking.
Another really great conversation skill is listening, so when you ask questions as recommended in Tip #1, make sure they are questions about things that interest the person you are talking to, then show you are listening by picking up on interesting points, and asking them for examples, or clarification, or demonstrating that you know how they feel because of a similar experience of your own (and then steer the focus back to your partner). Remember, listening is a lot less work than talking.
To sum up, we all have the necessary skills to develop a really interesting conversation, skills we use without even thinking, when we really want to know something badly: with a little focus, we can make any chat take on a bigger dimension, and become infinitely more enjoyable.
