Some things, you should simply not talk about. Or, if you’re asked about them, you should skim over. They’ll give the conversation an uncomfortable tone, and the purpose of conversation is to have fun, isn’t it?
The usual conversation topics you’re meant to steer clear of are politics, religion, sex, and off-colour humour. These topics arouse strong negative feelings. Some people take religion and politics incredibly seriously, and take offence at being contradicted. Sex and certain kinds of humour can make some people uncomfortable. So conventional advice is to talk about other things.
owever, there are other topics you should steer clear of, not because they could lead to arguments or embarrassment, but because they will induce negative emotions, and perhaps cloud the rest of the conversation.
The first one is the poor sate of your health. It’s bad for your own emotions to dwell on your misfortunes, and if you’re honest, you don’t truly want to hear a long list of complaints about other people’s ill-health, either, do you? So if the other person asks say something vague, like ‘Oh, I’ve been better, but I’m improving really fast, thanks. How about you?’ If the other person really does want to know, they will ask you for more details. Read their body language if they do, and watch their faces for signs that they’ve had enough detail, and then change the topic, by saying ‘But enough of that, let’s talk about ___ instead!’
(Quick conversation tip: an exception would be if you can make your story funny, or if you have a story to tell about something amazing that happened.For example, I have a friend with diabetes, and he tells you very briefly (and jokingly) where his health is up to. If you ask him to elaborate, he also has a document and a photo on his phone that he’ll show to demonstrate the mental arithmetic he has to perform each mealtime. You get an education talking to him.)
The second is how much you hate your job, or your boss, or your colleagues. As with health, The exception is if your conversation skills can make it hilarious, or thought-provoking, or entertaining some other way, that’s great. But your listening partner doesn’t want to hear ten minutes of negativity or anger.
The third is your last vacation, and how bad it was. The same principle applies again — if you can make it funny, great. Otherwise just say you’re trying to forget it, and change topic, perhaps with the advice to never travel with XYZ vacation company.
Topic to avoid number four is relatives, and how bad/unreasonable/selfish etc they are. You’ll either get a reputation for being a character assassin, or make your friends angry on your behalf.
The next-to-last topic in this list concerns mutual friends, and speculating on any behaviour that may not meet the extremely high moral standards that the rest of us set ourselves live up to at all times. Gossiping can be fun, but choose carefully who you do it with, and remember that you too are not beyond reproach.
Finally we have pet peeves. Maybe you hate Christmas, or the taxman, or dog-owners, for example. It’s best to keep it to yourself, if so. You’re likely to get angry while talking, and that negative emotion will cloud the atmosphere. That is not what we want to achieve in a good conversation.
Agreed, these topics are ones you’ll feel strongly about, and can probably talk about for more than a few sentences. But they are all negative in nature. Negativity is destructive, and should be avoided not only in your conversations with others, but also in your thoughts. Think about the people you like. Are they’re mostly fun, positive people? If so, it stands to reason that people will like the same qualities in you. And they discover them in your choice of conversation topics
