One of the conversation skills that doesn’t make it into the top 10 is realism.
By that, I mean you sometimes have to accept the fact that you can’t turn every interaction into a mini party. Some conversations are going to seem like awful hard work, and some are never going to get past the small talk phase.
There are many reasons why this could happen: maybe the other person is dull, unadventurous, unimaginative, in the wrong mood, tired, has a completely different sense of humour to yours so doesn’t get your jokes (and you don’t appreciate theirs either) or their personality and yours clash (whether mildly or strongly).
The fact is, you can’t get on with everyone, and accepting that fact is one aspect of being realistic. When you’ve had a less than fantastic conversation, though, the second half of that realism is to conduct a short analysis of why?
Was it shyness on the other person’s part? Did they simply seem to dislike you, or be suspicious of you? Perhaps they suspected you had motives other than friendliness?
More importantly, what could you do to make the conversation go better next time? Learning and improving in this way are part of the conversation skills set
